I went on a Joy Ride with McLaren through the Mountains of Jebel Jais
Learning to loosen the grip on life, and to harden the grip on cars.
If you had asked me last year to join a bunch of strangers for a spontaneous drive up a mountain, my answer would have been a flat-out "Nah, I'm good", or, if I felt like using two extra words, “Who has time for this?”.
But somewhere between then and now, the gears have shifted (haha, you need a 32GB brain to get that pun 😬). I'm slowly, but surely, learning to loosen the grip, to embrace the unplanned detours in life and open up to a bunch of weird side adventures.
When the notification popped up, at the top right corner of my laptop, the first thing I noticed was my laptop battery being red-close to death, so I picked up the charger to give it some gas (hehe, you for sure need a 64GB brain to get that one 😬). Back to the notification, it was from "M.A. McLaren". It's an RSVP to come along on a joy ride to a place I've never heard of… Jebel Jais. I confirmed immediately, didn't think twice, a technique I've been using to say more "YES" to fun and extroversion.
This newfound openness, however, extends beyond mountain drives. You might now find me on a paddle tennis court, swinging rackets and hitting balls like a pro that I am plan to be. The goal? Pure vibes, and maybe, in the future, a bit of bragging rights after I challenge everyone in the city to a match and thrash trash them.
Also, someone made something happen somewhere, and I ended up starting a podcast—a podcast so underground that no one will ever get to see it, but that's a story for another day. I might write about it someday, perhaps—I digress.
Day zero: right party, wrong day
I pulled up at the Arabian Ranches Golf Club with unwarranted confidence.
"We have it today," I told the security guard confidently, as if I were part of the planning committee.
The puzzled look of “who is this guy” on the security guard's face should have been my first clue.
The penny dropped soon enough, accompanied by a healthy dose of self-acknowledgement of mumu-ness. I had arrived a full 24 hours early. I had to call the McLaren contact, who confirmed the event was the next day.
"Oh, wow, I'm here now, I thought it's today", I replied, as if expecting him to say, "Oh, since you're there, and you’re the big boss, let's gather everyone else and do it today then".
I had to pack my enthusiasm and shame back in the car, head home, and wait another 24 hours.
“Old man, the date is on the invite, you didn’t look at it?” My brain asked me. “You’re the brain. That was supposed to be your job, and I would appreciate if you had more drive for your job”, I replied (haha, you need a 128GB brain to get that one 😬).
Take two: the real day….
The next morning, I pulled up at the same spot, only this time, I wasn't alone, and the security guard finally looked like he was expecting me.
I was hoping to see like 10-20 cars at most, but about 80+ McLarens showed up.
The parking lot looked like a scene from a Fast & Furious movie, except everyone was sipping coffee, taking pictures and having croissants instead of preparing for a heist.
While others were talking engines, horsepower, and handling specs, I stood there nodding like an idiot. I knew nothing about what they were talking about. Truth is, I still get the gears confused, I don’t know how to close the car’s roof properly, I think driving the car in sports mode is stressful, and I’m not sure if the fuel tank is on the left or right. The other day at the valet, I couldn’t roll down the window. The valet guy was just standing there, staring at me, probably thinking I stole the car.
I digress.
We had breakfast, mingled a bit, and then attended a safety briefing about nfd9438ejnfdannefd (cos I can’t remember the details). I know there was something in the briefing that sounded like an irony, it sounded like telling a fish not to swim. Oooooh yeah I remember, the mclaren team was telling McLaren owners not to speed… I appreciated the gesture, and most people probably nodded through just to get the "drive safe, don’t kill yourself" formalities out of the way—bla bla bla.
Destination: Jebel Jais
Then we kicked off the 2-hour drive to the Jebel Jais mountains, the highest point in the UAE. The road to Jebel Jais is a driver's dream—winding paths cutting through rugged mountains, sharp curves that test your reflexes, and a straight 120 km stretch where you can really feel what your car can do.
What I was piloting was the McLaren Artura Spider. And unlike a Tesla that jumps forward when you accelerate (like a rabbit on caffeine), this beauty grips the road firmly, (like that video I saw on tiktok where one drunk guy put his arm inside a tiger’s mouth), this car holds the ground to dear life, giving you this “I am god” feeling of being in complete control, even at ridiculous speed.
The sound of the engine behind me was music to my ears. It’s like playing your favourite album on repeat—every track hits just right. (Haha, you need a 256GB brain for that one… if you don’t get it, it just means your brain is below 256GB, and that’s fine 😬)
During the drive, I could see my phone buzzing with notifications. I ignored them all. YOLO, as they say. I fired the accelerator instead, watching the speedometer climb as the mountains grew larger in the windshield. Their father!!!
The motorcade….
While I was proudly cruising and smiling sheepishly at my 110 km/h speed, this other guy in his fancy blue 750s Spider sped past. He must have been going at 459590 km/h. One second, I saw him, the next second, he was dust.
Then there goes the guy with the cool wrap on his 750s. And another with the glorious GTR flashed by. And another. And another. It felt like playing NEED FOR SPEED multiplayer online with a processing power that can’t keep up with the frame rate.
“These dudes can speeeeeeed”, I thought to myself. I guess that's what the car is made for. But I couldn't join the speed party completely. I'm not used to this. And I’ve got a beautiful wife and baby waiting for me at home, so I’m cool with being the last in the motorcade.
"Don't worry about keeping up", my brain told me. "It's not a race".
I agreed.
“But how fast can you go?”, my brain asked curiously.
“hmmm maybe 120 km/h?“… I answered.
My brain said, “You can do 180”, to which I replied, “I think that’s too fast”.
“You can try telling that to the McLaren owners who came all the way from Qatar to unleash their beasts on these mountain roads”, we concluded.
The view….
As we climbed higher up Jebel Jais, the temperature dropped and the views became increasingly spectacular. At 1,934 meters above sea level, Jebel Jais is the crown jewel of the Hajar Mountains. The landscape changes from smooth slides to dramatic rocky cliffs, offering panoramic views that made me forget I was still in the UAE.
If you’ve ever seen a luxury car commercial, that’s exactly the kind of road they’d do it on.
The view from up there? You have to go see it for yourself. The rocky mountains stretched out like the playground of a giant, with layers of rock telling stories of millions of years gone by. I wondered how they got a road in between those mountains.
“These mountains don't care about quarterly targets or Mixpanel metrics. They just stand here, majestic and unbothered, reminding me how small I am in this world”, I thought.
The return…
Heading back, with adrenaline subsided, and social battery in red, I couldn't help but think about how much in fines I would get for that trip. The guy behind the speed cameras probably had his most profitable day of the year, counting all that money he’s about to get from speed tickets. I don’t even pity myself that much; I’m more concerned about that guy in the blue 750s Spider. But then again, some experiences are worth every dirham.
As we descended from that HIGH (hahaha, actually, this one requires a 520GB brain to understand 😬), the reality of returning to normal life started to sink in. "Now I have to deal with all these messages”, I thought. But something was different. I felt satisfied.
The new normal…
It was easily one of the most enjoyable moments I've had in life.
So here's to saying yes more often, to making room for fun, and to the fine folks at McLaren who made it all happen.
Life's moving fast; we might as well enjoy the view while we're up here. But while at it, keep an eye out for those falling rocks—and I’m not talking about the ones on the Jebel Jais mountains (okay… this is the one that requires 1024GB to understand 😬). I’m out.
