You know, it’s kinda easy to judge other people...
A gentle reminder that we’ve all been the person we once rolled our eyes at. And the only difference between “them” and “us” is awareness.
Some years ago, I was driving down this narrow road in Fajuyi, Nigeria. It was pitch dark, no streetlights (of course). Just me, the road, and one oncoming car with its full headlights blasting straight into my eyes.
I slowed down. I mean, I could barely see. Common sense says you shouldn’t use full headlights when there’s an oncoming car; the dimmer one is enough. I got irritated. As he drove past me, I tried looking in the car just to see what idiots looked like, but it was dark. “What an idiot”, I said to myself. “I hope he doesn’t use the same brain to raise kids.”
When I finally got home and parked, I was trying to pull the parking brake when I noticed a bright light symbol on my dashboard. Alas, my full headlights had been on the entire drive.
I didn’t call myself an idiot sha. I said, “Ah, I didn’t even know it was on.”
But what if the other guy didn’t know either?
It’s easy to judge other people.
A few months ago, Mimie misplaced her ring. And every day since then, she hasn’t heard the last of it from me.
“Are you sure you didn’t purposely throw it away so people won’t know you have a husband at home?” I’d joke. “Abi… How do you even misplace a ring?”
Fast-forward to yesterday, I misplaced my entire backpack at the airport.
Inside it were my ‘dear’ laptop, phone, headset, and card.
We spent about two hours roaming around trying to find this bag. Eventually, we got it back from “Lost and Found,” intact.
I consoled myself with, “Well, I was carrying two extra bags, that’s why I misplaced it.”
But honestly, is it not more ridiculous to misplace a whole backpack than a tiny ring?
It’s easy to judge other people.
When you see parents giving their kids iPads to watch cartoons, it’s tempting to think, “What a lazy parent. Why not just play with your child?”
Until you have one of your own.
Then you realise it takes divine intervention and a bit of superpower to keep a three-year-old entertained for 30 straight minutes without losing your mind.
Everyone is an expert on how to raise a child… We form different opinions based on whatever we see. But you know why that is?
Because, it’s easy to judge other people.
The Bottomline…
Judging others is one of those “same as ever” concepts. Something that has existed since the beginning of time and will continue till the end of it.
Sometimes, we judge because it’s natural. Sometimes because it’s easy. But most times, because it feeds our subtle human need to believe we’re smarter, wiser, and more put together than others.
While writing this, I was chatting with Mimie, and according to her, “judging is part of what makes us human, part of what separates us from rabbits. It’s instinctive. It’s how we make sense of the world. The only difference is, some people keep their judgments in their heads, while others say them out loud.”
And yeah, she’s right, which confirms the fact that we’ll always judge others. The trick is to catch yourself doing it.
That tiny moment of self-awareness → that “Ah, it’s easy to judge other people o, I have my own shortcomings too.”, is what makes you a logical, evolving adult.
And to sum it all up… The alternative to judging others is understanding them.
And honestly, it’s much easier to judge people than to understand them.
So maybe let’s all keep judging, but let’s at least do it with a bit of self-awareness.
I rest my case,
- Chief Judge, Kay.
